the new me

i'm sinking in all the love showered on me by everyone who finds out about my accident. the pat of the back, the heartwarming hug, the squeeze on the shoulder, the spirit-lifting smile and the concerned shocked look... i feel so loved!

was having our usual bedtime chat on friday night with jon when he told me his new observation. he realised that i seem to have a new outlook in life after the accident. "you seem more happy now despite what we went through" was what he said.

that set me thinking for a while. is it true? am i really exuding happines amidst my injury? "yup" was my answer to him. i can feel the positive vibes in me. i see myself smiling more often than before the accident. even as i relate the accident to concerned friends and family, i keep assuring them that i am fine. this injury has been pretty painless for me (save for the occasional itchiness which is unbearable for a itch-prone person like me). if i was to complain about anything, it just had to be the discomfort the bandage poses to me, not allowing me to open my eye more than half. *sneeze* ouch! (and that too.)

getting back to what jon said... i feel different. and it has nothing to do with my 6-stitched wound on my eyebrow or my racoon-like right eye. but it definitely has everything to do with what God did for me during the accident. the first two nights following the accident, before i fell asleep, i could visualise the accident in my mind. but it didn't bring me fear. on the other hand, it showed me gratitude. i have said this a million times, and when you have been through what i have, you would do the same too. i'm so glad i'm alive! i thank my Lord that i'm alive!

i could have died. i could have been blind (since i missed blindness by a mere 2 cm). i could have been disabled. there are so many "could-haves". and what i was reminded on saturday was "rejoicing in our problems". this is truly putting the Word of God in action. it's really faith in action. yes, there are times when i think why i ended up like that (usually when i stare at myself in the mirror) and the what-ifs which would have avoided the incident. but it came rarely. i refuse to let myself wallow in misery.

was speaking to a friend last night. i was telling her, we hear of such accidents and cases often in the newspapers, news and word of mouth. but we simply find ourselves going "oh, so poor thing" and move on. it never moved us seriously. it never meant much to us. more often than not, we are oblivious to them. i find myself guilty of this before.

nothing beats a personal experience to change your life. i was in a taxi yesterday on the way to my cousin's birthday bbq. the taxi driver was on the ECP going at almost 120km/h and i found myself going back to the accident scene. i immediately told him to slow down and told him what happened to me. he looked at me in my racoon eye and he understood. he apologised and continued the journey at 80km/h. i hope i served as a reminder to him that life is more important than the mere amount he could get from shortening passenger times and increasing passenger turnover.

right now, i can only give God all the glory for preserving both jon and i. life and death is truly a thin line apart. (in our case, it was only the distance between a cross junction.) most of us do not recognise that death is no respecter of age. so do not take your life too lightly.

we often belittle the little things in life that makes the difference.
we take too many things too lightly.
we take for granted the things God has graciously granted us.

do you know where you would be if you were in my shoes, and the odds were all against you?