beyond parental control

spent the past two days in this little room of mine. almost glued to the bed all the time. the flu and fever gave me the headaches, muscle aches and drowsiness. (side track. ooohhh... new blog entry layout. wonder if it will make any changes to my normal blog template.) anyway, my only contact to the world right now is my computer. can't even chat on the phone for long without my throat feeling dry and bittery.
 
meant to write this entry yesterday but i was feeling much worse yesterday that i couldn't even be on the computer for more than 10 minutes. sitting upright just makes my dizzy....
 
i woke up to diana ser's "Get Real!" on children that were hauled to juvenile court by their parents and charged with beyond parental control. it was such a heart-wrenching sight to see how youths as young as 12 were dragged into juvenile court for truancy, drug-taking, smoking, drinking and the vice.
 
one inteview that struck me was of this young girl who started clubbing, drinking and smoking at 13 and is currently staying in the Andrew & Grace Home. her parents had given her all the freedom she wanted. at 13, her curfew was 12 midnight, and she was only required to call her mum by 6pm if she intended to stay out late. she came from a well-to-do family and could afford the luxuries of life. when she starting getting bad to worse, her parents tried everything to restrain her - threatening, grounding, caning, scolding, counselling. after about a year in the AG Home, she finally regretted all that she has done. she realised that her parents were good parents, yet she took all those for granted and yearned for greener pastures (although pastures were definitely not greener on the other side).
 
another interview was of this other young 15-year-old who was staying with her boyfriend before she was caught for drug-possession in a club. the only link she had with her family was when she returned home to get money from her father. i was appalled when her mum (who had another 2 younger children) said that since she had not turned "that bad yet", it was okie. i shared diana ser's response. "she is 14 years old, doesn't come home, dropped out of school, smokes, drinks and goes clubbing. that is not bad enough, then what is bad enough?" the girl started regretting her actions when she lost complete freedom in the AG Home. she was not even allowed to snack on titbits.
 
in both cases, the parents took the responsibility for the result of their mis-upbringing. but i saw a glaring contrast in both examples. the former is of one that was brought to court by her parents who have ran out of ideas to control their daughter, the latter is one that the parents don't see what is wrong with their daughter's behaviour until she was charged by the police. while i have nothing much to say about the mum in the second example, my heart goes out to the parents of the first girl.
 
as a more grown-up kid, i'm starting to see how painful it is for our parents to see us waste our lives. after seeing us grow from a little baby to what we are today, i am sure that our parents would want the best for us. sometimes our parents may not know how to express their love and concern for us, but it is the little things they do that show us they care (and most of the time, we ignore the little things they do for us).
 
i have been reading from friends' entries on how their parents restrict them too much, don't give them freedom, poke their noses into every detail of their lives, keep forcing them to study, etc. many of us not-so-young-ones on hindsight would say that we have been there, done that. but i totally understand what all of you are going through... it is tough sometimes, but in all forms of relationship (parent-child, friend-friend, teacher-student, boyfriend-girlfriend), trust is something that we have to earn. as long as we obtain the level of trust, it would be easier to strike the compromise.
 
so before you complain about your arguments with your parents again, ask yourself this question: have i done my part as a son or daughter to justify my right to complain about them?